Friday, February 4, 2011

Cheating Pizza

Hey. Managed to get one last time in at the internet cafe on Planet Colonial Marteth before we ship out tomorrow. The captain's the best, always on time and all that. Greatest boss ever.

The point of this post is that the creators of all that is awesome on PC Marteth cheated me on a pizza. It was basically the best pizza of my life; you know, cheese, sauce, and three meats.

What are the three meats you usually think of when they say "Three Meat Pizza"? My classic three meat pizza has sausage, pepperoni, and ham.

Ham. That's the important one here. So, guess what Marteth gives you instead of ham? Ground beef. Yeah, they should advertise like, "A burger and a piece of pizza combined! Buy today!"

The problem is that they didn't say what kind of toppings our classic three-meater had one it at our wonderful little cafe on Marteth. At least, not in big letters. I'm expected to have magnavision like the rest of the world of colonists and be able to read fine print from five feet away.

Pizza rocks, and its way better than the freeze dried gunk and tube stuff on the ship, but seriously, my hopes were up and then this dude broke them. I know that they have pigs and stuff here. Just slaughter one and make some ham! Stupid colonials.

Katrina gave me her crap today and told me that ground beef was healthier than ham. Ha, right, how does she know? "Med Aide Knows All!" I can just see her little advice booth onboard ship. She's full of advice. She thinks I should wear different clothes than my jumpsuit when I'm off ship so I won't embarrass her, and that I should gel my hair and wear contacts more. Yeah, like I care so much about that. Seriously, I don't pay that much attention to what I look like, but I'm cool as it is right now.

'Sides, mom always liked my hair messy. Haha-- I can just imagine Katrina's expression if I told her that. She'd probably say some biting remark about how I should make my own decisions. Sucks to be her, then.

I've been reading over the last two posts I wrote yesterday and the day before yesterday and I guess I sound like a moody sarcastic jerk. I guess I am sometimes. I'm pretty cynical; it's my biggest failing, gotta admit. Life isn't a fairytale for me, like it is for another med-aide (who I'll write about later, along with purple jumpsuit pajamas and Our Glorious Captain).

Then and again, when you've got to follow around a girl ALL DAY LONG that hates you, your guts, and your hair and clothes, you kind of start to dislike her too. I basically give what I get. She rubs me way the wrong way.

If we're ever in port again, I'll post my life again and make your day.

-Terry S.

No comments:

Post a Comment