I've Got a Feeling

That the internet sucks. The only wireless internet cafe on Planet Colonial Jemba didn't have internet, wireless or otherwise. PC Jemba, the future "Coruscant" of the galaxy. They're planning to pave it over and give the Tested Regulating Environment Enhancers (trees, ha) a run for their money in generating oxygen for a whole planet. It'll be some Star Wars geek's dream come true when they're done, but they won't be finished for another fifty years, thank God. A planet without grass would be the worst.

So yeah, the techie planet's technology failed on me and I had this whole post written up about purple jumpsuits and it's gone now, eaten by the computers in PC Jemba's internet cafe.

They only have one cafe because it's a new Planet Colonial. They started up two years ago, and the city was focusing on, you know, staying alive. Not that that's more important than the internet or anything (ha, what is?), but there it is. PC Jemba's lone internet cafe was built last month, when they finally got their priorities straight.

Tried to get a coffee there, failed. They fed me tea. Anyone remember that cafe across from the ice rink downtown that closed? Had many a good coffee there. This cafe wasn't like that, if you know what I mean.

Life right now is the worst. Hauling things around the ship really gets to you after awhile. Captain Awesome gives me fun stuff to do like jettisoning dissected cats out of the airlock when the med aides are done with them. Basically the best job ever.

I'll rewrite the jumpsuit post as soon as I can. See you around, ladies.

-Terry S.

Why?

I ask myself every day why I didn't just put up with the job shortage back home. Yeah. Seeing the universe is great. We've been to ten colonial planets and two already-been-colonized for awhile planets and I still get pushed around. Basically, the only change is that the people who beat me up know my name.

Most people back home know that I'm not automatically comfortable with people I don't know. Weird, huh? Obviously, I should go up to strangers and automatically be best friends with them. Not that I know anything about what they like, or who they are. Who cares about that? Ha ha, right.

I don't get anyone who does this with me. It's being a jerk. Relationships have to be built from the ground up. They're not automatic. People are just asking for me to be sarcastic when they do it with me. Oh, they don't like that? Tough luck, ladies.

That's why I don't have any friends on this ship. Everyone here has decided to speed up the relationship process or not have it at all. I'm totally cool with the ignoring someone thing, but the other one stinks. Where's the medium between both? They say they want to know who I am, but it's not like they've really tried.

That just leaves me frustrated, orbitting above the Gerver Satellite and using their wi-fi. So, want some advice? Don't go touring the universe unless you're ready to get buddy-buddy really fast with everyone on your ship. If you are, you'll have two hundred best friends, but if you're not, you won't have any.

-Terry S.

Blogpost #1

This is for the guys that I left in the dust. You know who you are. The ones on earth, languishing in jobless misery.

That's the joke, though, right? I have a job, and it's the worst. I hate working in space. You know how they say that it's the people who make the job? Whoever said that sucks, because its true. My captain (Capn' Crunch, hahaha) thinks I'm his personal punching bag. The comm tech hates my guts.

But hey, that's life, right? I get to see the universe!

Ha. This is how I see the universe:

So I wake up in the middle of the night to an alarm blaring like crazy, and so, duh, I sit up in my bunk. Except my bunk is right next the the ceiling, so I hit my head. Whoever thought up the cabin design is the worst. So, with stars and moons and stuff spinning around my head, I climb down and try to see in the dark. It's hard, and my eyes aren't doing so well seeing with my concussion going on at the back of my head.

I manage to pull on my boots and stumble out from my closet of a cabin into the hallway. I'm basically freaking out. Seriously, I've been in space for four weeks, and this has never happened before. Ever. So, yeah, out in the hallway cabin is this other guy. I call him the Hulk, cause he's like a pillar of muscle. Probably the captain's bodyguard. Hahaha.

The Hulk is standing in the hallway in his red jumpsuit looking like he's got a class A hangover and gonna fall over. I probably look the same, so I'm not worrying about that.

"Hey, Travis!" (That's the Hulk's name)

Travis focuses his beady eyes on me like I'm this huge chunk of meat. Yeah, a chunk of meat in a purple sleep jumpsuit. I'm the only one who wears purple to sleep, and there's this whole thing with jumpsuits that I don't feel like explaining right now.

So Travis stares at me for forever and I say, "What's the alarm for?"

Travis grabs onto this thought and stands up straighter, beginning to stomp over to me. "You made the noise?"

Uh-oh. I step backwards and I'm thinking I'll hide in my cabin awhile. "No, it's not that. I don't know WHO made it."

Travis doesn't get it. All that muscle takes time to process complex thoughts like that. "You make it shut up!"

I turn to run back to my room, but he's too quick and he sticks me into noogie position. My neck is all but snapped when I hear a new voice.

"The noise is the alarm for docking at the spaceport, idiots."

Travis lets me go to look for the speaker (or because of her charming powers of reason) and I'm able to see a girl in a labcoat.-- a med aide There are so many med aides on this ship, it's the best. Especially the best when they don't try to help you when you've got a concussion and a sprained neck.

"Amateurs." The girl says.

What the heck is up with that? She's like, "I'm from Star Trek and I own this ship, and you're the idiot newbie, like some stupid lieutenant."

I'm new, yeah. Deal with it, girl. Alarms at night are kind of weird. Oh, yeah, I forgot. I was supposed to know what they were automatically, from the vulcan mind-meld everyone but me did when they signed up for a job on this ship.

Life sucks here, guys. The only great thing is the stars. They're so close.

-Terry S.